pelvis & pretzel

Of Nights When Snow Has Fallen

What I have learned, discovered, or experienced this week:

• Southern towns are ill-equipped for snowfall and can end up spending around three-hundred thousand dollars in five days to get things up and running again.
• Playing Egyptian Rat Screw, Speed, Rummy, Shed, and Bull-Shit are fantastic ways to pass time with new and old friends alike.
• People really stock up on bread and eggs in “times of crisis.”
• Preparing food for and with friends is incredibly satisfying. Ain’t nuthin’ like the smells of bacon, eggs, coffee, and strawberries mingling to put a heart at ease.
• Snowballs are powerful enough to crack windows.
• There are jokes about dead babies, and I know friends who know them. (Shudder.)
• Doughnuts are also things people do in cars on ice and happen to be thrilling in a few senses of the word.
• Always wait 3 minutes before quietly appearing in a doorway behind your friends who are busy trying to give relationship advice to each other while tipsy; everyone laughs really hard.
• I have a new friend who, when drunk, has a vocabulary centered solely around the phrases “Fuck you!”, “I’m sorry.”, and “Are you drunk yet?” Variations include adding “dude” to the beginning or end of any of these phrases.
• The rules of ‘Circle of Death’ are easy to memorize.
• The Empire Strikes Back was remastered very well and goes great with buffalo chicken wraps.